It's that most joyful time of the year, Christmas, the season of goodwill, when you get that glowing feeling inside that makes you want to hang your relatives up by the fireplace and show your stockings how much you love them. Or something like that. Here at TerraFirma we have seen, as always, a lot of work and improvements, including new commands and a re-done web site. Check out what's been done on the mud by reading the Game News below. Take the opportunity to get more involved with TerraFirma by writing "dreams" or "tales" for the MUD (type READ TERRA for example, or speak to a member of the Court).
On the subject of writing (spot the tenuous link!), FreeWheeling is intended to be a magazine for everyone on TerraFirma, and we want as many people as possible to contribute, so if you have any ideas for articles/stories (preferrably original and game-related) for FreeWheeling, mail them to Bliss or BabyGirl. Anyway, enough of the hard-sell; put your feet up, reach for the chocolate, and settle back for this festive edition of FreeWheeling. Hope you enjoy it....
BabyGirl & Bliss (Editors)
CONTRIBUTORS TO THIS ISSUE:
Ronan, Yaz, StGeorge, Bliss, BabyGirl, Santa and several players and UT's
with resolutions!
Many new features have been added into the game lately. New commands include: IGNORE for those times you wish to screen tells and other things from a single person, read HELP IGNORE for more about this command; BODY shows a pictoral description of how well each body part is protected; AUTOEAT is for those times when you want to be SURE your character will eat food in a fight, regardless of lag or other problems; and the command PARTY SHARE which will share all the credits in a location among members of an exploring party.
There's also a new system which randomly distributes helpful pieces of armour, food and other objects around the land to help out beginner explorers. Other improvements: new messages on bulletin boards since you last logged on are marked with a (*), punctuation recognition for messages seen within the game (for example, a tell ending with a ? indicates the player asking something), and the ability to perform commands like reading info, qinfo and score data whilst asleep.
Something to note about fastest quest times: anyone who beats a fastest quest time will now be rewarded with a cash reward of ten percent the experience value of the quest! The quest times list can be found on the game under INFO TIMES.
For more information and detail about new features and who brought them to you, read INFO NEWSTUFF on the game. Also read INFO WORKDONE for a detailed list of changes.
Many congrats to our two new recent Counsels Slicer and Ronan who passed
their clave tests with flying colours. A big cheer also for Yaz, who made
apprentice in style--crashing the game twice!:
The Town crier shouts out 'The ISLAND quest has been completed by Yaz'
**(System) SYSTEM CALL : Give me all the power you've got Scotty!
Suddenly, everything shatters obscuring your vision....
TerraFirmA blurs then gradually slides into focus again.
Trumpets sound to praise Yaz, the new Apprentice!
**(System) SYSTEM CALL : Give me all the power you've got Scotty!
Suddenly, everything shatters obscuring your vision....
Bey and Wildthing were MUD married by Cyn in a private ceremony on December 7th which took place on the Desert Island. Slicer was the Best Man and Emily was Bridesmaid. Congrats to the new couple.
Much of the new TerraFirmA web site has now been put into place. Have a new look at the.. new look, and send any comments or feedback you have to BabyGirl. Take note, however that not everything is "complete", especially the "guide" area which is still being worked on!
This month's Tale is the first of three parts in a
series...
"Hey! Chuck, wake up!" coming through his com helmet woke him from the daydream.
"Huh? Oh sorry Blake, I must be a bit tired", he replied.
It had been nine stressful hours of searching the ancient derelict. And it was showing amongst all the team members. Chuck and Blake were in a lower part of the metal hulk some 280 feet below the ground level and from the only accessible exit. Their objective was to breach a thin metallic barrier that had been found the previous day. But the room they were now in was terribly distracting. It was not at all like the rest of the wreck. There were some very strange items strewn about the far corners and odd looking artifacts mounted inside glass containers. And Chuck was quite curious as to their origins and function.
Blake was still putting the cutting kit together, "Ok she’s just about set, let’s take another density reading and get to cutting a looking hole."
Chuck knelt down and passed the scanner over the area marked for the cut. He was quite intrigued by the values he saw on the screen. The wall was very thin, so much so that one would be tempted to just beat a passage to the other side. But Chuck knew it had been tried, and left not so much as a scratch.
"It reads less then six millis, but dense as two meters of reinforced steel alloy," Chuck said as he adjusted some of the display controls.
"Well if this don’t cut it then they are gonna blow it and I don’t want any more damage done to this place," Blake said while he powered up the cutter.
Blake slowly moved the cutter’s fine point up to the wall. A small red line shot out from the end of the tool. And the cutting began. It actually worked, although it took several passes, and a small hole was made in the strange lining. Blake peered through. His mouth opened slack. Without hesitation he began to carve a larger hole. And with some effort finished a gaping passage large enough to walk through.
Blake stepped through and motioned for Chuck to wait on the other side. The hall was filled with an astonishing array of items. Pieces could be seen on old wooden tables, mounted on the decorated walls, sitting on low pedestals, leaning against shining statues, carefully set on carved miniature altars and dozens more seemingly placed with purpose on the beautifully tiled floor of the large gallery. It was truly a spectacle and a perfectly preserved testimony to those that created such a display.
With eyes wide he began to walk amongst the glittering artifacts. There was no doubt in his mind now that this chunk of metal buried for so long had a purpose.
"Must be a time capsule or record of a people, but from where?" Blake muttered.
There were swords and ancient armour of all sizes, glowing gemstones and little pendants on necklaces, sticks and staves with unreadable symbols and food items under little glass covers appearing a fresh as the day they were made. The wall to his left was adorned with tapestries, paintings and busts sitting on small shelves. The other walls were covered in great murals. And looking at the beings seen in the artwork Blake could only guess at the immense power they once must have wielded. There were whole sets of cutlery engraved with silver and gold and several odd looking cups and chalices. One set of shelves held a large collection of books of various sizes and colours, while another had scores of glass vials filled with mysterious fluids. Laid out on a low wooden table were several pieces of paper covered in cryptic writings.
Blake threaded the room with care so as not to touch any of the marvellous articles. The contents continued to amaze him as he meandered towards the far end. He stopped in front of a closed door. To the left of the metal door was a series of hooks with numerous keys of differing shapes each appearing to have a concealed use.
After confirming the door was locked Blake’s attention focused more intensely now to the myriad of keys. This, he realised, is not going to be easy. Certainly he was not even going to try to blow, cut or otherwise force his way through this portal. Blake bent down and examined the keyhole carefully. A smooth, pearly white circle surrounded the small hole. He panned the keys once more, and one stood out from the lot. A long slender piece of metal with a tiny round of white on its base.
He grabbed up this promising means of access, gently inserted it into the keyhole and turned it. A distinct click ushered from the lock mechanism. And Blake pulled open the door. There, lying on a one-metre high stone, was a long black box. He drew closer and a small sign next to the stone came into view. His eyes were at first however, attracted to the box. It had no lid and the interior was padded with a velvety cloth. But the beautiful red rose that rested within was by far the most astounding image he had ever beheld. It was not just the sight but the fragrance of fresh air with just a hint of sweetness.
Tearing
his gaze from the single red rose he next examined the sign. What it read
befuddled him because there were no other control switches or gauges. No
technology was visible anywhere past the doorway he had cut into this wondrous
place.
He looked at the sign again. "Reset Stone : Hit for Global Reset," he whispered to himself.
He glanced at the Stone. Curiosity began to surge within him. He felt a rush of anxiety. Blake lifted his clenched fist and with all his might brought it down upon the Stone. . .
...watch for the second part of this story in the next issue!
After you receive your holiday gifts, you may want to consult this list of pretty useless products to be sure you haven't accidentally ended up with one of them! (One wonders why you might get an appendix for Christmas... but hey that's none of our business!)
A Barbie for all times, a Barbie for all seasons, a Barbie for all reasons! Here are some of the latest editions of this perennial gift and collector's favorite available for your shopping pleasure.... get yours today before supplies run out!
Rabbi Barbie: So why not? Women rabbis are on the cutting edge in Judaism. Rabbi Barbie comes with tiny satin yarmulke, prayer shawl, teffilin, silver kiddush cup, Torah scrolls. An optional accessory is a tiny mezzuzah for doorway of Barbie Townhouse.
Homegirl Barbie: This truly fly Barbie doll wears a midriff-baring shirt and baggy jeans. She comes with gold jewelry, hip-hop accessories, and plenty of attitude. Pull her cord and she says things like "I don't think so," "Dang, get outta my face," and "You go, girl." She teaches girls not to take s--- from men and condescending white people.
Transgender Barbie: Formerly known as Action Man.
Internet Barbie: This barbie has white and greasy skin, a beer belly and no friends--the result of staying in all day and night on the computer eating takeout food and drinking cider.
Robotic Barbie: Hey, kids, now you can experiment with your very own autonomous, two-legged walking machine! After this doll falls over, she says "Control theory is hard. Damn these spiked heels anyway!"
Dinner Roll Barbie: This Barbie doll has multiple love handles, a double chin, a real curvy belly, generous T&A, and voluminous thighs...to show girls voluptuousness is also beautiful. She comes with a miniature basket of dinner rolls, Bucket o' Fried Chicken, tiny Entenmann's walnut ring, a brick of Sealtest ice cream, three packs of potato chips, a t-shirt reading "Only the Weak Don't Eat," and, of course, an appetite.
Our Barbies Ourselves: This is an anatomically correct Barbie, both inside and out, comes with spreadable legs, her own speculum, magnifying glass, and detailed diagrams of female anatomy so that little girls can learn about their bodies in a friendly, non-threatening way. Also included: tiny Kotex, booklets on sexual responsibility. Accessories such as contraceptives, sex toys, expanding uterus with fetus at various stages of development, and breast pump are all optional, underscoring that each young woman has the right to choose what she does with her own Barbie.
Birkenstock Barbie: At long last, a Barbie doll with horizontal feet and comfortable sandals. She is made from recycled materials and comes complete with a tiny package of trail mix.
Bisexual Barbie: She comes in a package with Skipper and Ken.
Bite-The-Bullet Barbie: An anthropologist Barbie with pith helmet, camera, detachable limbs, fake blood, and the ability to perform surgery on herself in the Outback.
Blue Collar Barbie: She comes with overalls, protective goggles, lunch pail, UAW membership, pamphlet on union-organizing and pay scales for women as compared to men. Waitress outfits and cashier's aprons may be purchased separately for Barbies who are holding down second jobs in order to make ends meet.
Twelve-Step Barbie: Pull the string on her back and she says, "Hi, I'm Barbie and I'm an alcoholic." She comes with a "One Day At A Time" bumper sticker, a 30-day chip, and a "just in case" pack of smokes.
Ripped-Off-In-The-Divorce-Settlement Barbie: Pull the string on her back and she unloads a torrent of insults and death threats for her ex-hubby's new wife. She comes with a hatred for all men, and a Malibu Barbie tan (except for a white band on her left hand ring finger).
Admin Barbie: Works twenty hour days for little pay (80% of Admin Ken's salary), and is the lowest on the totem pole despite being the one that actually runs the group. Comes with mini-laptop. Pull the string on her back and she'll schedule a meeting with your other dolls, replace the toner cartridge in the laser printer, coordinate a re-org and a move, and order airline tickets for Director Ken.
Temp Barbie: This smartly dressed, intelligent, hard-working and enthusiastic Barbie is ready to go right out of the box, but usually goes untouched for at least a day while everyone tries to figure out why they bought her. Pull the string on her back and she'll stuff envelopes indefinitely, all the while wondering why she got a liberal arts degree. Comes with mini-resume and mini-filing cabinet filled with the past five-years worth of US Tax Code revisions which need to be collated.
Sister Mary Barbie: This spiritual Barbie comes with jointed knees and neck for genuflecting and praying, mini-rosary beads, a mini-bible, and a black sequined nun's habit (after all, she's still Barbie). Pull the string on her back and she says nothing because she's taken a vow of silence.
Internet Barbie II: This is really a middle-aged Ken doll pretending to be a 16-year-old nymphomaniac.
Melrose Place Barbie: She comes complete with her Barbie Dream Apartment, where Skipper and the rest of the gang live rent-free. Other accessories include a bottle of vodka, silk sheets, and an warrant for her arrest.
Oprah Barbie: Push a button on her back and this Barbie actually speaks! Hold your very own talk show with topics like how tough math class is, Ballerina Barbie's struggle with bulimia, and Kens who wear Barbie's clothes.
My So-Called Barbie: She faces the same troubling issues as regular teens who don't have huge wardrobes, perfect bodies, pools, and ponies.
Roseanne Barbie: The dark side of the American dream is explored with this doll. She's Barbie after graduating from high school, marrying too young, and eating too much.
Murder, Barbie Wrote: Whenever this elder stateswoman of the Barbie set (She's 27!) arrives in the playhouse, all the other dolls mysteriously disappear.
Dr. Barbie, Medicine Woman: This helpful doll offers other homesteaders important tips like what conditioner to use out on the Plains and how to take care of their nails while shoeing a horse.
America's Most Wanted Barbie: She's on the run after 30 years of crime against feminism.
Just in time for making those crucial New Year's Resolutions.. we have guidance handed down from above by "The First Church of Terra":
1. Thou shalt have no other MUDs before me.
2. Thou shalt not annoy the Creator.
3. Thou shalt not spam.
4. Remember the Terradome and keep its memory alive.
5. Honor thy Untouchables.
6. Thou shalt not panic when the MUD doth crash, for lo the MUD shall regenerate.
7. Thou SHALT read the HELP and INFO files!
8. Thou shalt keep thy knowledge of quests to thyself.
9. Thou shalt not bicker amongst thyselves!
10. Thou shalt not covet Untouchable's items.
The New Year "FANTASTIC-BEYOND-THE-MINDS-OF-MEN (or
very stupid women)"
FREEWHEELING COMPETITION!!!!
It's that time of year when people start Looking To The Future and Taking Stock Of Themselves and making all sorts of wild, rash, and ultimately DOOMED resolutions for the coming year, most of which will have been smashed beyond repair long before you've stopped finding pine-needles in your carpet/feet/cat...yet people continue to subject themselves to this annual torture, and here at TerraFirma things are no different. To see how well you know the people on TF, below are a list of New Year's resolutions and then a list of the people who made them...simply match the resolution to the character and whoever mud-mails Bliss with the most correct answers by January 20th will get a prize, probably a loan of some decent kit or a quest hint (I wanted to make the prize the juiciest bit of TerraFirma goss I know, but eventually decided that it would almost certainly result in me getting as good kicking...but, maybe one day...).
| THE RESOLUTIONS: | THE PEOPLE TO MATCH THEM WITH: |
| 1. I resolve to actually log on sometime and do something! |
a) Ted |
2. I resolve to use more left-handed smileys. (: |
b) Hatfield |
| 3. I resolve to be as wicked as CYN. (oh, God help us all!) |
c) Bliss |
| 4. I resolve to learn how to type QUIT <return>. |
d) Firefly |
| 5. I resolve not to keep walking blindly into Deathrooms on the way back from completing quests. | e) Yaz |
| 6. I resolve to actually go through with my MUD-marriage this time. (*cough*) | f) StGeorge |
| 7. I resolve to devote more time and effort to freeing young, virginal damsels in distress, rather than taking advantage of their chained-up state when I free them from the wrath of dragons. | g) Robert |
| 8. I resolve to keep my hands to myself and to stop doing that dying thing. | h) Cryogenius |
| 9. I resolve to get to at least level 6 and to solve at least one quest a month! (yeah, and with only 32 quests, it'll only take you two and a half years to do them all...NOW that's someone I can really relate to!) | i) BabyGirl |
Well, I'm sure you'll agree that they're all _mightily_ difficult; more taxing, in fact, than a Daytime television phone-in competition, but I'm sure you'll get there eventually!
Politically Correct Santa
'Twas the night before Christmas and Santa's a wreck...
How to live in a world that's politically correct?
His workers no longer would answer to "Elves,"
"Vertically Challenged" they were calling themselves.And labor conditions at the north pole
Were alleged by the union to stifle the soul.
Four reindeer had vanished, without much propriety,
Released to the wilds by the Humane Society.And equal employment had made it quite clear
That Santa had better not use just reindeer.
So Dancer and Donner, Comet and Cupid,
Were replaced with 4 pigs, and you know that looked stupid!The runners had been removed from his sleigh;
The ruts were termed dangerous by the E.P.A.
And people had started to call for the cops
When they heard sled noises on their roof-tops.Second-hand smoke from his pipe had his workers quite frightened.
His fur-trimmed red suit was called "Unenlightened."
And to show you the strangeness of life's ebbs and flows,
Rudolph was suing over unauthorized use of his noseAnd had gone on Geraldo, in front of the nation,
Demanding millions in over-due compensation.
So, half of the reindeer were gone; and his wife,
Who suddenly said she'd enough of this life,Joined a self-help group, packed, and left in a whiz,
Demanding from now on her title was Ms.
And as for the gifts, why, he'd ne'er had a notion
That making a choice could cause so much commotion.Nothing of leather, nothing of fur,
Which meant nothing for him. And nothing for her.
Nothing that might be construed to pollute.
Nothing to aim. Nothing to shoot.Nothing that clamored or made lots of noise.
Nothing for just girls. Or just for the boys.
Nothing that claimed to be gender specific.
Nothing that's war-like or non-pacific.No candy or sweets...they were bad for the tooth.
Nothing that seemed to embellish a truth.
And fairy tales, while not yet forbidden,
Were like Ken and Barbie, better off hidden.For they raised the hackles of those psychological
Who claimed the only good gift was one ecological.
No baseball, no football...someone could get hurt;
Besides, playing sports exposed kids to dirt.Dolls were said to be sexist, and should be passe;
And Nintendo would rot your entire brain away.
So Santa just stood there, disheveled, perplexed;
He just could not figure out what to do next.He tried to be merry, tried to be gay,
But you've got to be careful with that word today.
His sack was quite empty, limp to the ground;
Nothing fully acceptable was to be found.Something special was needed, a gift that he might
Give to all without angering the left or the right.
A gift that would satisfy, with no indecision,
Each group of people, every religion;Every ethnicity, every hue,
Everyone, everywhere...even you.
So here is that gift, its price beyond worth...
"May you and your loved ones enjoy peace on earth."
| http://www.north-pole.co.uk/ | The Christmas Pages E-cards, Virtual Letter to Santa, Contests and more... |
| http://www.rmplc.co.uk/eduweb/sites/wickham/xmas/xmastory.html | Christmas Traditions Traditions in the UK and elsewhere. |
| http://www.nerdworld.com/nw901.html | Nerd World: Christmas Hundreds of categorized links to all sort of Xmas resources. |
| http://www.geocities.com/Athens/3680/xmasindx.htm | Tim's Christmas Page A large collection of lyrics to Carols, for singing those wonderful songs! |
| http://www.new-year.co.uk/ | The New Year Pages E-cards, chat, resolutions, 1997 in review and.. fun! |
(All together now..."all you need is love..la la la la laaaa...all you need is love....")
MAY YOU HAVE THE SPIRIT OF CHRISTMAS,
WHICH IS PEACE,
THE HEART OF CHRISTMAS, WHICH IS LOVE..
- A.V. HENDRICKS
