Latest Changes in the Terradome
Latest Changes in the Terradome
The Genesis zone has been revamped with two tours now replacing the previous solitary path. One tour is a quick lesson about the Terradome in the form of 9 lessons. The second tour is based on the previous Genesis but is much larger and more enticing for new players. Both allows as many newbies as possible into them and hopefully, with over 50 rooms in all, will satisify everyone.
5 new zones are almost ready for inclusion in the next version. These are Rome, Rescue, Hamelin, Clockshop and Camelot.
The levelling system, based on experience, has been extended rewarding players experience for killing mobiles. Killing mobiles gives out experience which ranges from 1 experience point to 100 experience points depending on the strength of the mobile. A typical value for killing an average mobile is about 20-25 experience points.
In line with the killing of mobiles giving out experience, experience for quests has now been increased, ranging from 1,000 experience for Farm to 10,000 experience for the hard Glacier quest. The full list is now:
| Quest | Experience | Quest | Experience | Quest | Experience |
| Elvenforest | 4000 | Tower | 3000 | Labyrinth | 5000 |
| Beach | 2000 | Cartoon | 5000 | Abyss | 6000 |
| Pirate | 6000 | Turtle | 9000 | Maze | 2000 |
| Waste | 7000 | Oaktree | 2000 | Beilefeld | 6000 |
| Island | 8000 | Farm | 1000 | Sherwood | 7000 |
| Mountain | 4000 | Oracle | 7000 | Icecave | 4000 |
| Glacier | 10000 | Harbour | 2000 | Cottage | 6000 |
| Opera | 3000 | Citadel | 4000 |
The levels have been changed accordingly with the new levels to:
| Level | Experience Required |
| 1 | 0 |
| 2 | 500 |
| 3 | 1,000 |
| 4 | 2,500 |
| 5 | 5,000 |
| 6 | 7,500 |
| 7 | 10,000 |
| 8 | 15,000 |
| 9 | 25,000 |
| 10 | 40,000 |
| 11 | 70,000 |
| 12 | 100,000 |
Fleeing, Deathroom and fight deaths have been changed for the new experience system. Fleeing loses 2% of a player's experience, hitting a Death Room loses 5% of a players's experience and a fight death loses 20%
Although you may lose exp points, you will not lose the quests you have completed, so you won't have to keep re-doing quests! Credits (the old way of establishing levels) will now used for buying equipment, paying tolls, repairing armour, and paying for hints, etc.
Luckyspin has been promoted to Emporer and deservedly so after working very hard on the new version. Honey and Babygirl have also been promoted to Stalwart and are being kept busy with updating info files and various other tasks.
Breezer has been promoted to Jester. Now he can realise his true potential ;)
Adonis and Zeffan have become Apprentices. Congratulations!
There seems to be a race between a number of level 11s to be the next ones to get to Apprentice. It's going to be a close finish between Cyn and Crienna it seems although a number of other levels 11s might surprise us all!
The info files on quests have been completely overhauled with information
available on individual quests. Just typing info
A vortex system above the five start locations allows players to move between
them. As the player moves up to the Vortex, they are randomly placed to one of
the other four starting locations. This allows fast movment to these location
assuming the player remember what each starting location looks like.
Lucas is now working on an updated Web site and this should be ready in the New
Year.
Players present:
Boogie, Luckyspin, Gly, Lukie, Lucas, Portia, Morr, Babygirl, Hydran,
Azrael, Pug, Firefly, Asgard, Cynryth [Cyn], Hellvelyn, Rhubix, Panda,
Scribe, Aguirre, OJSimpson, Bina, Test, Yel and Katshi.
OJSimpson says 'QUIET PLEASE'
Find these memorable Terradome terms in the puzzle below.
Words can be horizontal, vertical, diagonal, forwards and backwards.
DOS Beer
Mac Beer
Windows 3.1 Beer
OS/2 Beer
Windows 95 Beer
Windows NT Beer
(or how to turn innocent leftovers into lethal concoctions)
Recipe No.1: Smurf Au Vin. Serves 4 (or 3 starving wolverines)
For this recipe, you will need:
1 Onion, chopped (you will have to chop it yourself - most shops don't sell
them ready chopped); 1 Clove Garlic, crushed (crush it with care -
sledgehammers can mark working surfaces); 6oz (150g) Streaky Bacon, rindless
(if this is not available at your nearest supermarket, you can buy normal
streaky bacon and then remove the rind yourself); 1 Smurf (I only use fresh
Smurf - frozen and canned variants just never taste the same);4oz (100g)
mushrooms, sliced (do NOT use toadstool - keep them for a later recipe); 1 cup
Red Wine (Anti-freeze, aftershave and Meths all make acceptable substitutes);
8oz (200g) can tomatoes (if you have no tomatoes, use a can of potatoes and
paint them red); Pinch of Mixed Herbs (the LEGAL kind - the others can leave
a strange aftertaste); 3 Chilli Peppers; 1 Oven
Preheat oven to 180C/350F/Gas Mark 4. Fry onion, garlic and bacon until soft.
Add smurf and cook until a light brown colour (I mean the smurf, not you -
not everyone realises that!). Transfer ingredients to a casserole dish (other
glass bowl will do, but I find that plastic usually melts) and add other
ingredients (except Chilli Peppers - save them for next issue's recipe). Cook
in oven for 1 - 1.5 hours or until smurf is completely cooked. Serve with
boiled potatoes (I once had a friend who tried to make do with pebbles
instead. Unfortunately, they took about 6 weeks to cook!)
I know of people who use chicken instead of smurf for this recipe. Personally
I always thought that chickens were fictional cartoon characters. However,
there's no accounting for other peoples delusions!
Last time you were told all about Netscape 2 and how its new features would
enhance your web surfing like nothing else before. However, the beta has been
lumbered with a number of problems making life miserable for anyone who
decided to use it. A number of sites that were fine under V1.22 appear to fall
apart under V2. It seems that Netscape 2 is less forgiving about the
occasional missing quote mark and some other features. Personally I've had
problems with colours and news. So it seems that unless you want to be on the
leading edge of technology, then stick to 1.22 for now.
Meanwhile Microsoft, who have been slow off the mark to exploit the Internet
boom, took industry analysts by surprise on Thursday by announcing that all
its product development would be around Internet access. Furthermore, their
own Web browser, available for Windows 3.1 and Apple Macintosh, would now be
available for free. This has hit Netscape shares badly and is, what many
analysts regard, a typical Microsoft predatory move to destroy Netscape's
dominance. The Microsoft Network (MSN) will now be open to anyone on the Net
and free server software will be given away with its business version of
Windows NT. Internet Studio, formerly codenamed Blackbird, will allow
businesses to produce Web pages without the need for programming. New versions
of Publisher and Microsoft Office will allow documents to be saved directly
as Web pages. Also, two new Net services will be launched, one for children
and a second dedicated to online games.
Pentium's new processor, the P6, has now been released under the name Pentium
Pro. The reason for the naming convention, according to many cynics, is due to
the chip being not as impressive as many were lead to believe and so is only
hailed as an upgraded Pentium. Designed to operate best with 32-bit code, Intel
did not forsee that many of today's applications would still be 16-bit. Tests
have shown that the majority of 16-bit Windows applications run at least 15%
slower on a Pentium Pro than on an equally specified Pentium PC. So word is
out that Intel have realised their mistake and are planning a rapid successor
to make up any ground lost to their gleeful competitors. The P7 is expected
to start at 180MHz and go up to the 300MHz mark. But for now, everyone will
have to accept Intel's mistakes unless of course you have a PowerPC. The
PPC604/150 is roughly twice as fast as the fastest Pentium!
You know when you've been in the computer room too long when...
'Twas the night before Christmas and snow was falling heavily in Toon Town.
Bugs and Elma were reminiscing over hot Chocolate about the scores of stupid
mortals attacking them with swords when Robocop knocked on the front door.
Elma woke up feeling sore. Bugs had laced the hot chocolate with vodka and
it was almost midnight.
Elma and the Banker finally got to the dwarven Citadel at about 1 o'clock in
the morning. From far away they could still hear the blaring music and knew
that this party was going to be an all-night jobs. At the front gate the
Protector and the Sheriff were standing in tuxedos swigging on bottles of
Budweiser.
Elma and the Banker made their way up the stairs past Asmodeus and the Lich
discussing astrophysics [they were drunk, you see!].
On second thoughts....do!
Lucas!
An October Wedding
Babygirl and Hydran got married on Saturday October 7th at a quiet private
ceremony with just a few lunatics in attendance. Actually it was total chaos
as over twenty people cried, sobbed, cheered and got totally confused
throughout a most enjoyable day. A shortened transcript of the happy event is
presented for you to treasure (Perspective is from Babygirl).
Artoodetoo says 'beep beep'
Artoodetoo is booted high into the sky.
OJSimpson says 'Ok.... Who is the best man and maid of honour?'
Lucas says 'I'm the best man...so everyone says :)'
Hydran shakes hands with Lucas.
Portia says 'bridesmaid'
Firefly coughs.
OJSimpson says 'stand to this side lucas... (behind the bench)'
Lucas moves to the side.
You say 'luckyspin is father of the bride'
OJSimpson says 'do you swear to tell the whole truth so help you God'
Luckyspin nods his agreement to you.
Luckyspin's head swells as he tells you how wonderful he is.
You kiss Luckyspin's hand.
Boogie smirks.
Obi bows gracefully.
OJSimpson pokes Lucas in the ribs.
Hydran says 'are we gonna start?'
OJSimpson says 'yeah.. im talking to Lucas'
OJSimpson says 'anyways who do you think you are Hydran.. the Groom or something?'
OJSimpson says 'Lucas.. you swear?'
Lucas says 'I swear'
OJSimpson says 'and the maid of honour... please step forward'
Lucas examines his ring closely.
OJSimpson says 'MAID OF HONOUR'
Firefly smiles at you.
Luckyspin grabs his sides and tumbles to the floor in hysterics.
Firefly smiles at Hydran.
OJSimpson says 'PLEASE STEP FORWARD'
Gly says 'Ok...I wanna be the ORganist!'
Portia says 'BRIDESMAID'
Gly says 'Ok...I wanna be the ORganist!'
Gly says 'Ok...I wanna be the ORganist!'
OJSimpson says 'you wont like me when Im angry.. '
Portia steps forward anyway.
Gly begs for mercy.
Lukie assumes the lotus position.
Luckyspin says 'FAther of the BridE!'
Gly says 'ORGANIST and flower arranger'
Luckyspin nods his agreement to Gly.
OJSimpson says 'Ok Gly organist.. play your hammond organ recital'
Lucas waves to you with a stupid grin.
Portia likes Gly's organs *:)
Portia blushes a lovely shade of red.
OJSimpson kicks Gly!
The Bouquet is created before you!
Shocked, are we?
The Bouquet vanishes!
Portia kisses Gly deeply.
Luckyspin gives you his Bouquet.
Luckyspin smiles happily.
You thank Luckyspin.
Gly says 'LETS DO IT THEN'
You adorn the handcuffs.
You are already wearing the oil on your body
Luckyspin nods his agreement to Gly.
OJSimpson says 'BRIDESMAID... maid of honour etc.. please make yourself known'
Obi nods solemnly.
Luckyspin says 'Father of the Bride!!'
OJSimpson blinks, then slaps his forehead and screams 'DOH!'
Hellvelyn examines his carrier closrly
Hydran wears the tuxedo.
OJSimpson says 'Portia you swear to tell the whole truth and not to get killed'
OJSimpson says 'before the end of the service'
Luckyspin smirks at Portia.
Portia says 'i'll try *:)'
Gly says 'nice glove!'
Gly says 'wheres the other one?'
Luckyspin points at OJSimpson.
Morr says 'knife, what knife, i never saw no knife'
Gly getsout the old Ancient Egyptian hyroGLYphic covered organ
OJSimpson says 'ok... Hydran... please step forward'
Hydran couldn't stand up.
Gly says 'sad but hey it's early!'
Firefly gasps in astonishment!
OJSimpson says 'hes drunk'
OJSimpson says 'bad stag night?'
You grab a much needed cup of coffee.
Luckyspin says 'we took him on stag moring'
Hydran says 'a rough one...'
Gly examines his organ.
OJSimpson slaps Hydran across the face!
You say 'dont tellme how early it is! 2:50 am!'
Luckyspin laughs at Gly.
OJSimpson says 'pull yourself together man'
Morr smirks.
Gly plays 'Walk Like A ....' As the bride enters....
Lucas says 'shouldnt that be stag mourning?'
Luckyspin nods his agreement to Lucas.
Hellvelyn wakes babygirl up.
OJSimpson says 'stand up.. and face the music (key Gly)'
Gly plays 'Walk Like A ....' As the bride enters....
Portia follows the bride in holding her dress.
Here comes the Bride.
OJSimpson says 'Who here gives this women away'
Gly smiles happily.
Here comes the Bride.
Gly bursts into tears.
Portia follows the bride in holding her dress.
Gly bursts into tears.
BabyGirl walks down the aisle.
Gly bursts into tears.
Firefly sobs uncontrollably.
Hydran turns his head.
Luckyspin stand next to BabyGirl.
Panda bursts into tears.
OJSimpson says 'ok ok your breaking my heart - know where the
father of the bride'
From a swirling mass of light hankie appears before you!
Luckyspin says 'I give this woman away.'
Lukie wipes his eyes on the Hankie
Gly steps back, aims then spotkicks hankie.
hankie is booted high into the sky.
High above the screaming figure of hankie tumbles helplessly through the air.
Asgard pats OJSimpson on the back.
Lucas says 'I'll have her'
OJSimpson pokes Lucas in the ribs.
OJSimpson says 'shhh.. that comes later when hydran is on business'
Hydran grins evilly.
Lucas tuts.
Portia grins evilly.
You grin broadly.
OJSimpson says 'erm.. Lucky.. step to your left necxt to BabyGirl'
Luckyspin moves yup to stand on BabyGirls left.
OJSimpson says 'anyone wanna be the usher ?'
Gly says 'I WILL'
Firefly says 'what no usherettes?'
Hydran says 'panda is usher'
You point at Firefly.
Firefly says 'I want an icecream'
Luckyspin says 'i voet Firefly'
Luckyspin says 'for usherrette'
Hydran says 'firefly is bridesmaid'
Death arrives.
Firefly curtseys gracefully.
Death says 'I WILL'
OJSimpson says 'now leave death alone'
Death slaps Hydran across the face!
Death rummages through his belongings.
OJSimpson says 'im missing a ring.. errr'
Hydran says 'indeed'
Lucas says 'I have it'
Hydran says 'OO-ER, that sounded very rude!'
Boogie waves his hand mystically and the bible flies into it.
Lucas waves Hydran's ring.
Luckyspin says 'Lucas will have your ring.'
Death says 'I'm not got one at 9.30 this morning!'
Boogie says 'here OJ have the bible'
Boogie gives his bible to OJSimpson.
OJSimpson says 'ok...'
Hydran bites his nails.
Death bursts into tears.
OJSimpson says 'last time i swore on this thing i was up for murder 1'
Death winks at OJSimpson.
Luckyspin says 'Guilty!!'
OJSimpson says 'thankfully thats behind me now'
Luckyspin says 'better wathc out behind you'
Portia says 'like where you're talking from'
Luckyspin says 'lucas is after your ring!!'
Lucas says 'OO-ER, that sounded very rude!'
Death says 'I'M BEHIND YOU.'
OJSimpson says 'no no. really im innocent'
OJSimpson says 'it wasnt my gloves.. they only had my name in by mistake'
Azrael says 'sure. just like jack the ripper'
OJSimpson says 'my mum put them there'
Pug says 'did someone say ripper'
Pug lets off a real rip-roarer.
Lukie grabs his sides and tumbles to the floor in hysterics.
OJSimpson says 'i wanna know where my scarf went'
OJSimpson says 'errr ok'
Hydran says 'now hear this!'
OJSimpson gives his glove to Hydran.
OJSimpson says 'now waer this glove and down on the one knee'
OJSimpson says 'repeat after me'
OJSimpson pokes Hydran in the ribs.
Gly bursts into tears.
Hydran says 'who, me?'
OJSimpson nods his agreement to Hydran.
Pug says 'I..'
OJSimpson says 'ubleievable'
Luckyspin blinks at Hydran, slaps his forehead and screams 'DOH!'
OJSimpson says 'even my spelling is too'
Hydran says 'i do'
Luckyspin nods his agreement to OJSimpson.
Luckyspin says 'no no no'
Portia says to Gly, "these weddings huh.... was ours this chaotic?"
OJSimpson says 'I Hydran do thee take yon BabyGirl in this fine day'
Gly says 'patiance is a virtue'
Luckyspin says 'hey..thas my line'
Gly says 'but I'm married'
Portia pokes Gly in the ribs.
Morr says 'sex is evil........evil is sin'
OJSimpson says 'please Shhhh'
Morr says 'Sins are forgiven, so lets get stuck in'
Lucas says 'too true!'
Hydran says 'i hydran take yon babygirl in this fine day'
OJSimpson says 'to have and to hold'
Hydran says 'to have and to hold'
Portia bursts into tears.
Pug says 'ooerr'
OJSimpson says 'as lag and intercontinental random chars allow'
Hydran says 'as lag and intercontinental random allows'
OJSimpson says 'to encrypt our love making for here on after using PGP'
Lucas whispers 'Hey lads..isnt Firefly looking nice?'
Firefly blushes a lovely shade of red.
Portia slaps Lucas across the face!
OJSimpson says 'and to make firm a bond over the Ether to our Love'
Hydran says 'to encrypt out love making for here on after using PGP'
OJSimpson pokes Hydran in the ribs.
Luckyspin is dressed in his best Caftan.
Panda sobs uncontrollably.
OJSimpson wiffs the air.
OJSimpson loses consciousness and falls to the floor!
Hydran says 'and to make firm a bond over the ether to our love'
Gly thinks you can't get authenticity now-a-days.
OJSimpson says 'hurry up old son'
Hydran is seriously lagging. Lagmonster strikes again!
Portia says 'and nurses costumes... and others..'
Gly has just wet himself.
Lucas's jaw drops six inches.
Azrael grins broadly.
OJSimpson says 'I BabyGirl take thee yon Hydran sympathetically'
You say 'I BabyGirl take thee yon Hydran sympatheticalllly'
OJSimpson says 'and promise to uphold the Terradome mission
statements to bond us in virtual love'
Gly has a deluxe mummy suit with sweaty arpits and muddy feet.
Portia says 'where?'
Hydran wishes he had a cut-and-paste X terminal, instead of this
crappy mac.
You say 'and promise to uphold the dome mission statements to bond
us in virtual... love'
OJSimpson says 'To have and to hold from this day forth and whilst
Hydrans terminal emulation allows'
You say 'to have and to hold from this day forth whilsy your
terminal emulation allows'
Hydran smiles at you.
OJSimpson says 'Will the best man again step forward'
Hydran prods Lucas.
Lucas moves forward.
OJSimpson gives his ring to Lucas.
OJSimpson says 'make sure hes on his knees'
Lucas examines Hydran.
OJSimpson says 'LUCAS!'
Lucas says 'yes?'
OJSimpson says 'get on with it'
OJSimpson says 'ring.. ya know to hydran'
Hydran looks at Lucas oddly and says 'Dime bar? D I M E bar?'
Lucas gives his ring to Hydran.
OJSimpson says 'dads getting impatient'
OJSimpson says 'lucas is unbelievable'
Lucas gives you his ring.
Luckyspin leaps onto a table and screams 'Eeeeeeeeek!'
OJSimpson says 'nobody put him in a position of power'
Lucas says 'it's early for me'
Luckyspin says 'your not marrying my girl!!'
OJSimpson says 'he'd be too late for his funeral'
Hydran says 'early for me 2'
Lucas loses consciousness and falls to the floor!
OJSimpson says 'No no Dad Lucas is the best man'
OJSimpson pukes on his shoes.
Portia says 'just get on with it!'
You say 'FINISH!'
Hydran bops Luckyspin over the head and says 'Oi, don't do that!'
OJSimpson says 'Hydran please give Babygirl the ring'
OJSimpson says 'hold her and tell his in sweet nothings'
OJSimpson says 'ya love her'
Hydran says 'i only have my ring.....'
Asgard cant take this any more.
Luckyspin says 'That'll do Lad'
OJSimpson says 'lucas has the other ring'
OJSimpson says 'as I have been pointing out for 10 mins'
Luckyspin says 'right..thats it'
Lucas gives his ring to Hydran.
Hydran gives you his ring.
Luckyspin says 'letd do it'
You say 'i dunnot have a ring'
Azrael sobs uncontrollably.
Luckyspin says 'yes you do'
Hydran wears the ring.
Hydran grins evilly.
Hydran drops his ring.
OJSimpson says 'Please someone find the ring'
Portia says 'shit...'
Gly whispers "Pssst...I have leprosy!".
Lucas says 'babygirl has the ring'
OJSimpson says 'no swearing please'
Luckyspin says 'bloody leprosy'
Hydran says 'where is MY ring!'
OJSimpson says 'a big boy stoel your ring in front of the church?'
Lucas says 'you have it'
OJSimpson says 'oh really.. (nod)'
** (Boogie) SYSTEM CALL : would the person who nicked the ring
please give it back
Gly put me in a bath and call me porridge.
It was in wedding1 | Worn by Hellvelyn in the terradome
wedding chapel
Hydran says 'HELLVYN'
OJSimpson yawns.
Portia says 'these 2 married yet?'
Lucas says 'hmm...now babygirl has both rings'
Gly says 'LOOK SORT THE RINGS OUT THIS IS DULL!'
Portia says 'come on...'
Lukie says 'PLEASE'
OJSimpson says 'WITH THIS RING I DO THEE WED THE BOTH OF YOU!'
Firefly pats you on the back.
Azrael cheers with great gusto!
Rhubix cheers with great gusto!
Lukie claps wildly!
OJSimpson says 'go for it the two of you'
Portia says 'ok.. kiss the bride and get it over with'
Luckyspin says 'hydran has a womans ring on!!!'
Panda pats you on the back.
Anyone for a piece of knee?
Luckyspin says 'hydran has a womans ring on!!!'
You grin at Hydran with lust in your eyes!
OJSimpson says 'Hydran is a bit queer'
Lucas says 'that was simple, eh?'
Morr drops his ring.
A massive lightning bolt strikes OJSimpson.
OJSimpson has just died.
OJSimpson drops his bible.
Death says 'Sorry work calls...be right there Mr OJ sir...'
Boogie twiddles his thumbs.
Boogie says 'ok soryed the rings?'
Firefly sobs uncontrollably.
You are already wearing the oil on your body
Hydran says 'YES'
** (Luckyspin) SYSTEM CALL : Three cheers for the newly weds.
Asgard cheers Hydran on.
Firefly cheers with great gusto!
Azrael cheers with great gusto!
Bina cheers you on.
Firefly cheers you on.
Hydran kisses you lightly on the cheek!
Bina cheers you on.
** (Boogie) SYSTEM CALL : now stately pronounce the couple
Husband and Wifey... make the records be known (hooray)
Firefly says 'Throw the bouquet'
Hydran whispers to you sweet words of love.
You nibble Hydran's ear.
Gly hugs you close.
Hydran says 'throw it'
You give Firefly your bouquet.
Hydran disappears in a puff of smoke.
Hydran thanks Boogie whole-heartedly.
You giggle like a schoolgirl.
Boogie says 'complements of the house'
Hydran hugs you close.
You kiss Boogie's hand.
The champagne is created before you!
The champagne is created before you!
The champagne is created before you!
The champagne is created before you!
The champagne is created before you!
Hydran suggests you might like to try sitting on his lap.
You smile at Boogie.
Boogie says 'laters'
Boogie waves happily.
You climb onto Hydran's lap and sit there contentedly.
Terra Word Search
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If Operating Systems were Beers...
Requires you to use your own can opener, and that you read the directions
carefully before opening the can. Originally only came in an 8oz can, but now
comes in a 16oz can. The can is divided into eight compartments of 2oz each,
which have to be accessed separately. Soon to be discontinued, although a lot
of people are still going to keep on drinking it after it's no longer
available.
At first came only in a 16oz can, but now comes in a 32oz can. Considered by
many to be a "lite" beer. All the cans look identical. When you take one from
the fridge, it opens itself. The ingredients list is not on the can. If you
call to ask about the ingredients, you are told "you don't need to know". A
notice on the side reminds you to drag your empties to the trashcan.
The world's most popular beer. Comes in a 16oz can that looks a lot like Mac
Beer's. Requires that you already own a DOS beer. Claims that it allows you
to drink several DOS Beers simultaneously, but in reality you can only drink
a few of them, very slowly, especially slowly if you are drinking the Windows
Beer ar the same time. Sometimes, for no apparent reason, a can of Windows
Beer will explode when you open it.
Comes in a 32oz can. Does allow you to drink several DOS Beers simultaneously.
Allows you to drink Windows 3.1 Beer simultaneously too, but somewhat slower.
Advertises that the cans wont explode when you open them, even if you shake
them up. You never see anyone drinking OS/2 Beer, but the manufacturer
(International Beer Manufacturing) claims that 9 million six-packs have been
sold.
Only just out, Windows 95 Beer looks a lot like Mac Beer but tastes more like
Windows 3.1 Beer. It comes in 32oz cans, but when you look inside, the cans
have only 16oz of beer in them. Most people will probably keep on drinking
Windows 3.1 Beer until their friends try Windows 95 Beer and say they like it.
The ingredients list, when you look at the small print, has some of the
ingredients that come in DOS Beer, even though the manufacturer claims that
this is an entirely new brew.
Comes in 32oz cans, but you can only buy it by the truckload. This causes
most people to have to go out and buy bigger refridgerators. The cans looks
just like Windows 3.1 Beer's, but the company promises to change the can to
look just like Windows 95 Beer. Touted as "industrial strength" beer, and
suggested only for use in bars.
AZRAEL'S COOKERY CORNER
Computer News
You know when you've been in the computer room too long when...
A Christmas Party
"There's a party in the Dwarven Citadel at 8 tonight!" said Robocop.
"What's up Doc!" said Bugs.
"I've just said! There's a party in the Dwarven Citadel at 8 tonight!"
repeated Robocop out of breath.
"Ignore Bugs" said Elma poking Bugs in the ribs. "We'll be there!"
Bugs nodded and poured his remaining hot chocolate over Elma's crotch.
"A bunch of the lads are going ten pin bowling now" said Robocop.
"Wanna come?"
"Who's coming?" inquired Bugs.
"Oh, Death, Redbeard, Stefan, the Storekeeper and a few of the girls"
"Not Death!" sighed Bugs. "That bastard's always cheating!"
"Ah c'mon" said Robocop. "Faffner is going! It'll be fun!"
"Really?" smiled Bugs.
"Yeah! And word is out that she's dumped the Hermit!"
"Wow!" grinned Bugs. "Ok, Count me in!"
Bugs disappeared into his bedroom for a minute then popped out again all
dickied up in his best 501 jeans and white T-shirt.
"Hey, looking cool! and smelling like John Travolta!" said Elma.
"You betcha!" grinned Bugs. "And just in case...".
Bugs opened his wallet and flashed his strawberry-flavoured condom.
"Not a chance!" laughed Robocop.
"Wanna bet?" said Bugs
"Yeah. Thousand credits says you cant get Faffner to show you her treasure!"
"Easy money" smirked Bugs now strutting up and down the room.
They all laughed in an evil but funny Terradome-like way.
"He He".
Bugs and Robocop waved to Elma and said they'd see everyone at the party.
"Oh. I'll be there" said Elma. "Have fun!"
Bugs and Robocop went on their way singing "Do you think I'm sexy"
"Bollocks! groaned Elma. "I was looking forward to that party".
"Still, there some action at this time of night".
Elma put on a warm coat and ventured off towards the Citadel.
It wasnt long before the first signs that a serious party was happening. At
the jetty Sam was slumped in his boat trying to row his way to somewhere.
"You're in a good mood, Sam!" smiled Elma.
"Up Yours!" cried Sam.
"Well, there was no call for that. Good night to you too!" said Elma.
Elma made his way from the jetty to the Village. At the Bank the Thief was
trying to persuade the Banker to swop some credit for dead rats.
"He's been like this for two hours now" moaned the Banker to Elma.
"He's been in the Old Seadog all afternoon. Now he's run out of credit!"
"Close the bank and come to the party" said Elma. "You need to relax!"
"You're right" said the Banker and followed Elma.
Elma and the Banker called into the Store to see if everything was ok.
Everything did look ok and they went on again. White, Blue, Brown and Pink
laughed behind the counter at not being seen.
At the Village Hangar Luckyspin, Vert and Honey were chatting away trying to
be oblivious to the night's activities.
"You fancy going to the party?" asked Elma.
"You gotta be kidding!" laughed Luckyspin "Last time you guys had a party,
you changed Boogie into a mobile and got all the newbies to attack him!"
"Yeah...that was funny!" grinned Elma to himself.
"Maybe next time" smiled Honey.
"Shame!" said the Banker winking at Honey.
"Hi!" said Elma smiling at the Protector.
"You're not on the list. You cant get it" cried The Protector at Elma.
"What!" said the Banker. "I thought this was an open party?"
"Well, it is" said the Sheriff. "We were just bored!"
Elma and the Banker sighed and brushed their way past the bouncers.
"Elma Baby" shouted Dio. "And the Banker! Welcomes Dudes".
Dio was dressed up as a giant marshmallow and was stinking of drink.
"I didnt know it was a fancy dress party" said Elma looking at the other
mobiles dressed in similarly silly costumes.
"Well, it wasnt" said Dio. "But the Bard got this groovy idea of raiding the
Beilefeld shops for this stuff"
"Hmm" said Elma. "Didnt Robocop say anything about that?"
"Robocop..." sniggered Dio. "Don't worry! Everything's cool!"
Smythe staggered up to them and gave them a bottle of beer each.
"Thanks" said the Banker, "but I'd prefer some wine if you have any?"
Smythe rolled his eyes and shouted down towards the kitchen.
"ANYMORE WINE, MARION?" he cried.
Maid Marion appeared round the kitchen door with glazed eyes.
"Yoooooo gootta (belch) bee kiddnin" slurred Marion.
"Ah well" said the Banker. "Beer is fine"
"I'd take you around the place" said Dio. "But I cant be arsed"
Elma laughed and smiled at Dio. "It's ok. We'll be fine".
The two proceeded into the next room where the main party was happening.
The lights were off and everyone was dancing with torches in their hands.
The Grue was doing some kind of funky Happy Mondays dance completely in a
world of his own. Pacamac and Percy were jumping up and down in a folky
kind of way with occasioanl shouts of "Yee" and "Ya". Crusoe, Friday and
the Native were dressed in Hawaiin outfits trying to impress Jackie and
Carlotta who were dancing around their handbags. Stefan was sitting in a
chair with bottle to mouth moving his head to the music.
"Hey Stefan" said Elma. "Good Party?"
"la la la la la la la" sang Stefan.
"That good?" grinned Elma. "You seen Bugs and the others?"
Stefan beamed and pointed upstairs.
"Light...is amaaazing" said Asmodeus.
"Wow........." said the Lich.
Elma nodded to the Banker. "Best not stop here".
The first room they came to had Robin and his Merry Men playing Draw Poker.
"I'll see your 50 and raise you a hundred" said Will seriously.
"He's bluffing..he has to be..." said Little John to Robin.
"Are you bluffing?" said Robin staring deeply into Will's eyes.
Elma sighed and waved the Banker on.
The Banker opened the next door and heard an almighty scream.
"Close that door now!" came the shout.
"Sooooorryyy" shouted the Banker back closing the door blushingly.
"That sounded like the Mild Maid" grinned Elma to the Banker.
"nah! couldnt be" said the Banker.
"Wonder who she's milking?". They both laughed aloud.
Smythe passed them and gave them two more bottles of beer.
"C'mon" said Elma. "We must be close to the gang".
A sweet smell filled the air before they came to the next room. Elma opened
the door and a large billow of smoke rolled out. They walked in.
"Elllllllmmmmmmmaaaa" smiled Robocop. "Ressppeeectt!"
Robocop gave them a peace sign and continued smoking his spliff.
"Hi" laughed Elma. "This party is full of surprises".
"melloooww out man......" said Death.
The Guxx and the Djinni were slumped in the corner also high.
"Why...I've never seen you like this, Robocop. How come?" asked Elma.
Robocop waved Elma to another door.
Elma opened the door to find Bugs in bed with Faffner.
"1,000 credits that cost me" moaned Robocop.
"Hey Elma" laughed Bugs, arms around Faffner.
"What's up, Bugs?" said Elma.
Bugs laughed. "Oh...I couldnt possibly say" grinned Bugs.
"Merry Christmas everyone" smiled Bugs. "Merry Christmas!"
Well, that's the 4th edition of the Freewheeling magazine over. The 5th will
hopefully be coming out at the start of the new year but will not, according
to rumours, be called Freewheeling 96. As most of our players will be off for
their Christmas holidays soon, I hope you all have an excellent festive time.
The Grue, Death and all the mobiles will be enjoying themselves too deep down
in the Abyss although I can't say with whom! So from all the Terradome Crew,
Merry Christmas and a very Happy New Year!